I’ve been thinking a lot about my childhood recently. More specifically, about my relationship with my mother. My mother and I had a very strained relationship. When I was just a little older than Emma I can honestly say I didn’t care for my mother. Up until that point I had tried so very hard to gain my mother’s love. To no avail. And so I returned her coldness and wanted only to be away from her. I know it sounds terrible, but that was just the beginning. As I grew into an adolescent my dislike turned into an ugly hatred. When I left for college I was leaving for good.

Here’s where the redemption begins. When I left and would only come home when absolutely necessary I think my mom realized I wasn’t coming back unless she took a step toward me. We didn’t have any sort of dramatic sit down, but once I saw her making some effort I returned in kind. Forgiveness was never spoken of but it was given and received. It has been a blessing to have a relationship with my mother. As I get older I see the great value of this relationship, though it still has it’s difficulties.

The complete redemption though is in my relationship with Emma. I really had no expectations, no way of even imagining what my relationship would be like with my daughter. But every time, she calls out to me, runs to my arms and relaxes in the comfort of my embrace I feel redeemed. All the years of pain over my mothers lack of love comes back as healing a hundred fold in each sweet little kiss. I am deeply grateful to my Savior for this precious gift. How great a redeemer, how gracious our Lord.



4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. AllyZabba
    Feb 28, 2008 @ 19:45:26

    You brought tears to my eyes. I am so glad that you can now have a relationship with your Mom. You are a wonderful Mother to Emma There is no doubting your true love for her or her amazing love for you.


  2. Heidi
    Feb 29, 2008 @ 08:56:39

    The picture of you and Emma is precious! You can see the love and that is such a priceless gift of God!


  3. mairseydotes
    Feb 29, 2008 @ 09:09:20

    beautiful, laura. rejoicing with you.


  4. kristine ho
    Mar 02, 2008 @ 20:39:50

    Seriously, it seems like every time I come to read your blog, I end up in tears. You are such a gift Laura. Thank you for sharing your struggles and testimony of Christ’s love. I Love you!


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