I have noticed that a week after each doctor appointment I start to feel a little nervous. I start to wonder if everything is okay. I still have a hard time believing that this is actually happening. I had wanted to be pregnant for SO LONG. It just feels very surreal.

Next Monday is my next appointment. Emma has asked if she can join me. I want her to come, I want her to participate in the experience. But the dark side of my brain wonders, “what if it’s bad, I don’t want her there if it’s bad news.” Where is my faith?

The truth is my faith is in tact. There are no guarantees that everything will go well. My faith is in God, not my circumstances.  I trust that whatever happens, I am in God’s hands.  So, no matter what happens at the doctor I want Emma to be there.  To experience my faith, joy or possible sorrow.  But, as sick as I still feel at night, I would think things are going well.